Despite a rise in reality television, it’s fake celebrities and corporations that thrive on Twitter. In many cases, the hilarious, witty and sometimes raunchy tweets of fabricated personalities garner in tens and hundreds of thousands of amused Twitter followers.
Reality aside, if you want to know what dressing room Bill Clinton prefers to hide in, or what Burt Reynods is doing in that truck stop restroom with a package of bacon, check out these hilarious fake Twitter accounts.
1. @Santa_St_Claus – Santa has many faces and it’s hard to choose just one. @Santa_St_Claus falls into the Santa that you want to hear from every day. He’s got jokes, he’s got gifts, he’s a little perverted, and he enjoys deer hunting.
Recent tweet: “I’m climbing in yo’ chimneys, snatchin’ yo’ cookies up. Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife.” http://bit.ly/say14j
Alternatively, if you want Santa’s drunken alter-ego, @LoadedSanta, he doesn’t even know how to tweet without slurring his somewhat-funny masochistic obscenities together. On the opposite side of the spectrum, @NORADSanta is great for the kids when Christmas Eve comes around, because he tweets all about his around-the-world journey.
2. @TheeBuddha – Buddha has mastered the art of the re-tweetable tweet by offering insights into the little things in life; like buying $5,000 car rims for your $2,000 car, and making you think about the ironic stance of Born Again Christians. After all, shouldn’t they believe in reincarnation?
Recent tweet: “If success is 90% perspiration, then the other 10% is deodorant.” http://bit.ly/rDula0
3. @PimpBillClinton – If Bill was a college student in 2011, we’re guessing that this is pretty close to what you’d expect from his Twitter feed. So that makes it almost real, right? Pimp Bill doesn’t cut any crude corners and has probably insulted just about everyone from Helen Keller, overweight women, Indian Americans, anyone with a handicap, and most especially, Hillary Clinton.
Recent tweet: “If my phone company charged me by the pound for booty calls I’d be as broke as Bob Dole’s hand.” http://bit.ly/sqFf4J
4. @FakeSarahPalin – There will be Sarah Palin jokes long after people even forget who Sarah Palin was, or the things that may or may not have even come from her mouth. As a posterchild for dropping thoughtless ideas and debates, @FakeSarahPalin has no trouble coming up with jokes. Her Twitter list, “People I Hate” include CNN, John Gruber, David Hasselhoff and even poor little @Sockington, Twitter’s first celebrity cat.
Recent tweet: “Did you know Katy Perry is a republican? Listen to Firework: “After a Herman Cain comes a Rainbow.” GOP IS HIP YO’” http://bit.ly/rpIf3r
5. @Jesus_M_Christ – Jesus appears to have many Twitter faces, but if he was still alive, we’d like to believe that this crude and often obscene account would get the “verified” Twitter stamp. Tweets often mock current events and play on every religion, including Catholicism.
Recent tweet: “A bunch of angels and I started an #OccupyHell campaign just to piss off Satan.” http://bit.ly/u6Zdab
6. @ColonelTribune – Colonel Tribune was born from the social media department of The Chicago Tribune, but his popularity far outweighs that of his more corporate counterpart, @ChicagoTribune. Climbing close to the million-follower milestone, the Colonel’s quirky take on select articles from the Chicago Tribune is embarrassingly high, compared to @ChicagoTribune’s 64k count.
Recent Tweet: “There is a big backlash over People’s choice for Sexiest Man. Every year, I cross my fingers. http://trib.in/sCnfnl” http://bit.ly/vff1bb
7. @NotBurtReynolds – Burt is a Moustache-wielding tough guy, and according to his (fake) Twitter accounts, he’s big into hookers and rolling around naked in waffles and jelly doughnuts.
Recent tweet: “Met a hooker at a truck stop who proved that everything IS better with bacon.” http://bit.ly/rsM3pH
8. @TheWaltWhitman – Walt, circa 2011, is apparently a 200 year-old man who loves Chipotle, enjoys jowel-rubs, believes in zombies, shops on Amazon and owns a mountain lion that may, or may not, eat girl scouts.
Recent tweet: “As an older gay man trying to look hip, allow me to ask: when will deluxe remastered editions of Hootie & The Blowfish’s albums come out?” http://bit.ly/v58Z7x
9. @Nick_Nolte – If you love drug jokes, Nick’s got a pocketful of them. If you’ve ever mistaken your parmesan cheese for cocaine, or wondered if Nick really did inherit his voice from a grizzly bear, @Nick_Nolte can fill you in on those secrets.
Recent tweet: “What happened to the three-speedball lunch? This town was great once.” http://bit.ly/roOQN0
10. @Queen_UK – You don’t get to learn the (fictional) inner thoughts of royalty just any day, and this Queen even got her own book deal out of it, Gin O’clock. @Queen_UK portrays the queen as a boozebag, with tweets like, “practically mummified in gin” and “One o’clock, two o’clock, gin o’clock rock!” Gin is to the Queen what hosted Exchange is to SherWeb. She also dips into politics and other bits of British humor.
Recent tweet: “Having a large gin and tonic with no tonic. #ginoclock” http://bit.ly/tP72vW
And we couldn’t end without paying homage to the once brilliant account of @ceoSteveJobs, which once raised over 450,000 followers, but was closed by Twitter after he passed.
Any fake Twitter accounts you love that didn’t make it on this list? Drop a comment below!