Since its official announcement, the iPad has just about everyone wondering what the hell Apple was thinking releasing a product that shares the same name as a feminine hygiene product, parodied over four years ago by MadTV.

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Had they seen the skit? Do women work at Apple? “Surely no women were involved in naming it the iPad” was a widely-reTweeted sentiment.  It seems completely uncharacteristic of Apple’s usually superior marketing, but then again, is any publicity bad publicity? In the spirit of “I-can’t believe-they-actually-named-it-that”, here’s a look at some other terribly unfortunate tech product names.

email Stripper

email-stripper
EmailStripper is a free program for cleaning the “<,>” and other formatting characters out of your emails… it can also hang upside down on a pole while twirling rubber underwear.

I.beat Blaxx

i.beat blaxx

In 2007, a German company called Trekstor began selling the I.beat Blaxx MP3 player, for customers seeking a pseudo-racist alternative to the iPod. It has since been renamed Blaxx.

Verizon’s G’zOne

gzone

Finally, a phone you can drop in the toilet and use right after! It’s the nation’s first waterproof phone, so it won’t get damaged while you use it to try and find your girlfriend’s g-zone.

DigiScent iSmell

ismell

The iSmell is a computer peripheral device designed to emit a smell when a user visits a web site or opens an email. With 128 “primary odors,” which can be mixed to replicate natural and man-made odors, the iSmell is a frightening concept with an even more disturbing name…

Tonium Pacemaker

pacemaker

The Pacemaker is the world’s first pocket-size DJ system and mixer. Sounds like it could also come in handy for controlling abnormal heart rhythms after popping too many pills.

iMuffs Bluetooth headphones

imuffs

iMuffs make your iPod experience wireless so that you can enjoy music even through a large bush of pubic hair.

Automated Box-Jenkins (a.k.a AUTOBJ)

bj_approach
Behold the BJApproach

Automatic Forcasting Systems developed several software products for data modeling and forecasting including the AUTOBJ, the BOXX and the AUTOBOX.

Zune

zune

Poor Zune… the device sold just over two million between its debut in November 2006 and May 2008. Apple sold roughly 76 million iPods during that same period. To make matters worse, in Hebrew, Zune means penis.

Wolfram Alpha

wofram_alpha

Though it was voted Popular Science’s greatest computer innovation of the year in 2009, it’s highly unlikely that “I’ll just Wolfram Alpha it” is ever going to replace “I’ll just Google it” in the popular lexicon.

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4 comments

Posted by Shannon Larratt at 2:35 pm at 16. February 2010

I beat blaxx??? HAHAHA too funny. How in the world did that happen? How did no one notice? It’s not as if Germans don’t all speak English.

Posted by SS at 4:03 pm at 16. February 2010

Don’t forget the iSkin. Nothing worse than that until they make the iScalp!

Posted by pheonix at 9:23 pm at 16. February 2010

pheonix out peace!

Posted by Trackbacks at 1:50 am at 30. July 2010

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